Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Now , check this out!!

While visiting India , George
Bush is invited to tea with Abdul Kalam. He Asks Kalam what his
leadership philosophy is. He says that, it is to Surround him with
intelligent people.

Bush asks how he knows if they're intelligent. "I do so by asking
them the right questions," says the Kalam. "Allow me
to demonstrate. "

Bush watches as Kalam phones Manmohan Singh and says,

"Mr. Prime Minister, please answer this question:

Your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is
not your brother or sister. Who is it?"

Scroll down

Manmohan immediately responds, "It's
me, Sir!" "Correct. Thank you and good-bye,
sir," says Kalam.

He hangs up and says, "Did you get that, Mr. Bush?"

Bush nods: "Yes Mr.
President. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that!"

Bush, upon returning to Washington ,
decides he'd better put Condoleezza

Rice to the test.

Bush summons her to the White House and says, "Condoleezza, I wonder
if you

can answer a question for me."

"Why, of course, sir. What's on your mind?"

Bush poses the question: "Uhh, your mother has a child, and your
father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister.

Who is it?" Rice was puzzled and finally asks, "Can I think
about it and get back to

You?" Bush agrees, and Rice leaves.

Rice immediately calls a meeting of senior senators, and they puzzle
over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with an

Finally, in desperation, Rice calls Colin Powell and explains the
problem. "Mr. Powell, your mother has a child, and your father
has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister.

Who is it?"

Powell answers immediately, "It's me, of course."

Much relieved Rice rushes back to the White House, finds George Bush,
and exclaims, "I know the answer, sir! I know who it is!


our Colin Powell !"

And Bush replies in disgust, "Wrong, it's manmohan singh

Monday, July 28, 2008

Variable Dimension Frames From Zenni Optical!!

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Dear Manager (HR),

Vivek, my assistant programmer, can always be found

hard at work in his cubicle. Vivek works independently, without

wasting company time talking to colleagues. Vivek never

thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always

finishes given assignments on time. Often Vivek takes extended

measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee

breaks. Vivek is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no

vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound

knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Vivek can be

classed as a high-calibre employee, the type which cannot be

dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Vivek be

promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be

sent away as soon as possible.

Signed - Project Leader

NB: That stupid idiot was reading over my shoulder when I wrote the
report sent to you earlier today. Kindly read only the odd lines (1, 3, 5, 7,9,11, 13) for my true assessment of him.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Breathing And Relaxation To Find An Insomnia Cure

The deeper and slower you breathe the more relaxed and sedated you will become. Numerous breathing and relaxation techniques are available that you can learn to use to promote relaxation and relieve stress.
Sleeping with the window open will help the air to circulate in your bedroom and fill your lungs with fresh air. Relaxation techniques will help your body to wind down and prepare for the sleep cycle.
Try this breathing technique when you first get into bed:
Take a deep breath. Breathe in through your nose and visualize the air moving down to your stomach. Breathe out slowly through your mouth. As you breathe in again, silently count to four. Purse your lips as you exhale slowly. This time count silently to eight.Repeat this process six to ten times.
The results of this breathing technique are immediate. You will feel your shoulders and arms relaxing. Your chest will feel less constricted and you will feel less stress and tension.
Practice this breathing technique on a daily basis so that it becomes routine for you and helps to induce natural sleep.
As well as using breathing techniques to encourage natural sleep you can try several relaxation exercises. Let these exercises relax your mind and allow your body to unwind and surrender to sleep.
Try the following relaxation exercise before you get into bed:
Lay on your back on the floor with your feet slightly apart, your hands by your sides, and your palms turned upward. Close your eyes and concentrate on every part of your body.Begin at the top of your head and work your way down to your toes.Start by feeling your forehead tense, then your eyes, face, and jaw. Tense and release each muscle group, such as your shoulders and neck.Pay attention to each area of your body from the top of your head, down through the trunk of your body, along your legs, and ending at the tips of your toes.Stay in this relaxed condition for a few minutes. Concentrate on your breathing and let all worry and stress dissipate from your mind and body. Make sure that your breathing comes from deep in your stomach and flows slowly and evenly.Stretch slowly before standing up.
This exercise will tell your body and mind that it can settle down, leaving behind thoughts of worry, fear, and stress.
There are many more techniques and exercises available to promote deep breathing and relaxation and you will need to find a method works best for you.

The Role Of Meditation In Finding An Insomnia Cure
Meditation can certainly both encourage and promote relaxation. The more relaxed you feel as you get ready for bed, the better your chances of falling into a deep and restful sleep cycle.
Stress, tensions, and worries will keep you from falling asleep. Meditation can help you achieve a relaxed state and focus your mind on peace and harmony.
Many different types of meditations exist for you to choose from, each with numerous adaptations and versions.
To get you started, this simple technique can prove very effective:
Find a focal point for your meditation – something about which you can think and on which you can focus your full attention.This can be a candle, a mantra (a phrase that you repeat over and over in your mind to establish harmony and to focus on your meditation), a stone, or something as simple as the sound of your own breathing.No matter what you use as your focal point, you want to continuously and firmly bring your mind back to that focal point.All other thoughts and distractions that drift through your mind must be pushed out.If you are beginning to include meditation in your nighttime routine you should remember that this type of meditation requires a great deal of discipline.Your mind will easily be distracted and you will lose focus.As you continue to practice your meditation nightly you will find that the process becomes easier and easier. You may find that meditating for ten to fifteen minutes before bedtime will help you to fall asleep naturally.
Try another simple technique for meditation:
Find a quiet room and sit in a comfortable position on the floor (use a cushion if needed).Sit with your hands resting lightly in your lap, close your eyes and relax.Take deep breaths in and out through your nose and try to focus on your breathing. Count each breath as you exhale. Count to ten. Repeat several times until relaxation sets in.Clear your mind of everything and think only of counting each breath as you exhale. Acknowledge any other thoughts that enter your mind, and then gently let them go and concentrate once again on your breathing.At the end of the meditation gently stretch and become aware of your body before standing up.
Another form of meditation is guided imagery. Guided imagery combines meditation, relaxation, and hypnosis. Using this technique you will follow a guided meditation to visualize a state of relaxation.
You should practice guided imagery in a quiet room where you won't be disturbed. You will need a tape or CD player. The lighting in the room should be dim and soft.
Typically the visualization will begin with some simple relaxation exercises that include deep breathing. When your body and mind are relaxed your imagination will come into play.
Some common imagery includes strolling along the beach, being in the mountains, or walking through the forest. The guided imagery uses your imagination to induce peacefulness and relaxation. You will be guided through the meditation from beginning to end, at which time you should feel calm and serene.
There are many imagery tapes on the market for you to choose from. You can also make your own tapes.
The techniques for meditation outlined here will help your mind and body to relax. Many other methods of meditation exist and you may need to do a little research and then experiment to find just what works best for you.

Monday, July 14, 2008


*Let's say it's 6.15p m and you're going home (alone of **course), after an
unusually hard day on the job. *
You're really tired, upset and frustrated.

Suddenly you start experiencing severe pain in your
chest that starts to adiate out into your arm and up
into your jaw. You are only about five miles from the
hospital nearest your home. Unfortunately you don't
know if you'll be able to make it that far. You have
been trained in CPR, but the guy that taught the
course did not tell you how to perform it on yourself.

Since many people are alone when they suffer a heart
attack, without help,the person whose heart is beating
improperly and who begins to feel faint, has only
about 10 seconds left before losing consciousness.

However,these victims can help themselves by coughing
repeatedly and very vigorously. A deep breath should
be taken before each cough, and the cough must be deep
and prolonged, as when producing sputum from deep
inside the chest.
*A breath and a cough must be repeated about every two **
seconds without let-up until help arrives, or until
the heart is felt to be beating normally again. *

*Deep breaths get oxygen into the lungs and coughing **
movements squeeze the heart and keep the blood
circulating. The squeezing pressure on the heart also
helps it regain normal rhythm. In this way, heart
attack victims can get to a hospital. Tell as many
other people as possible about this. It could save
their lives!!


Put about 100 bricks in some particular order in a closed
room with an open window.

Then send 2 or 3 candidates in the room and close the door.

Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours and then analyze
the situation.

If they are counting the bricks.
Put them in the accounts department.

If they are recounting them..
Put them in auditing.

If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks.
Put them in engineering.

If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order.
Put them in planning.

If they are throwing the bricks at each other.
Put them in operations.

If they are sleeping.
Put them in security.

If they have broken the bricks into pieces.
Put them in information technology.

If they are sitting idle.
Put them in human resources.

If they say they have tried different combinations, yet
not a brick has been moved.
Put them in sales.

If they have already left for the day.
Put them in marketing.

If they are staring out of the window.
Put them on strategic planning.

And then last but not least.
If they are talking to each other and not a single brick has been moved.

Congratulate them and put them in top management.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008


If you think you are beaten you are;
If you think you dare not, you don't;
If you want to win but think you can't;
It's almost a cinch you won't.

If you think you'll lose you're lost;
For out of the world we find
Success begins with a fellow's will;
It's all in a state of mind.

If you think your outclassed, you are
you've got to think high to rise
you have got to be sure
even before you can win a prize

Life's battles don't always go
To the stronger and faster man,
But sooner or later the man who wins


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